sup 

Sophomore Reading List (I actually started many of these, but I was too lazy to finish)

Their Eyes Were Watching God
1984
Brave New World
The Great Gatsby •
Dracula
Les Miserables
The Grapes of Wrath
The Things They Carried
A Prayer For Own Meany
The Giver
The Tree Grows in Brooklyn
Running With Scissors
Little Woman
Frankenstein
Jane Wyre
Alice in Wonderland
Girls of Slender Means
A Clockwork Orange
War and Peace
The Social Contract
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Catch 22
Crime and Punishment
Walden
Lolita
This Side of Paradise
The Master and Margarita

i'm looking forward to the Great Gatsby this year 

who am i kidding? nobody cares about the ecology club.
nobody is going to come to this stupid talent show
how did i ever think we were going to get anything out of this?
only 4 people signed up
stofa doesn't even read the announcements i put up

i'm stressing myself out too much.
i can't handle this

time to make this shit private

everybody always talks about:
crazy things they have done
people they have hooked up with
ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends
adventures
sneaking out
vacations to amazing places
kissing
sex
drugs
parties

and i always feel so left out

i sit in my room

i stay after-school for clubs

i don't have any stories to tell

;any worth hearing that is

people don't take me seriously

i never get invited anywhere

i'm not

cool

enough

i just want to remember high school

that's  it.

i want to have fun stories to tell

i want to say these years are worth going back to

Today was the first of many *major* tests to see how intelligent I actually am. As I'm sitting there with a pencil in my hand and the PSAT's in front of me (for the second time) I realized that I'm not as smart as I make myself out to be. I breeze through a couple of questions, but then I go brain dead. I read a passage and I'm grasping and analyzing everything I'm reading until about halfway; I keep reading, but my thoughts are somewhere else. It seems as if I have a short-attention span, but I think that's just an excuse for my stupidity.

ghost wave

I'm starting to see some results from my previous diet (plus I kinda like what I'm wearing) (I'm also in the kitchen) (But I still have a long way to go sigh)

I started a new diet today. I'm really excited.

I think I'm getting too attached with this blog. I like posting what I feel, no one ever listens. I don't make sense. Sigh.

I'm addicted to dieting

I want a boyfriend

I used to never let these things get to my head, but now I've realized that I've just held myself back all of these years. I let my shitty self-esteem get the best of me. Because of this, I've never had a real relationship or a *real* kiss.

Everyday I see couples around me; they hold hands and kiss goodbye and look at each other and tease each other and it looks so fun.

I want that.

temporary background (happy background)

I'm really looking forward to this weekend. I'm not doing anything *crazy* or partying and what-not, but I get to see Emily! I haven't seen her since that night at Anna's house and I truly do miss her. I think we are both in need of some *girl time* (I just gagged, I can't believe I just said that). It makes me really sad that she's out there in Salisbury, in a reserved Christian school with uber-conservative people and pretty depressed I guess...


On another note..I just took  Pre-Calc quiz and omfg I think I failed it

I already have more posts on this blog than I did all year on last year's blog

Cheers to the freaking weekend!

I saw this on Anna's tumblr and I think it's a good way to keep up with myself even if it's cliche idk

Had Beer.
Smoked an entire cigarette.
Done drugs.
Write on a bathroom wall.
Read a George Orwell book.
Had a physical fight.
Used Twitter.
Listened to Lady Gaga.
Been in a car accident.
Gotten suspended.
Gotten expelled.
Been allergic to something.
Got a computer virus.
Touched a real gun.
Had a dog.
Had a cat.
Been pregnant.
Camped out.
Swam in the ocean.
Wore a bikini.
Driven a car.
Been sent to the principal.
Ever liked someone.
Failed a class.
Failed a test.
Went to summer school.
Got worse than a D.
Got A’s, A’s and B’s.
Read an entire book.
Recorded my own music.
Had an xbox.
Worn heels more than 3 days in a row.
Wore fishnets.
Wore skinny jeans.
Hated someone.
Been cheated on.
Cheated on someone.
Worn makeup.
Lied to my parents about where I was going.
Had surgery.
Had my license.
Been to college.
Graduated high school.
Attempted suicide.
Self harmed.
Worn colored contacts.
Painted my nails black.
Broken someone’s heart.
Had my heart broken.
Cried for an hour straight.
Lost something very valuable.
Lost my virginity.
Got separated from one of my parents as a kid.
Broken a bone.
Gotten stung by a bee.
Eaten something bad/expired.
Threw up from being so drunk.
Saw someone throw up from being so drunk.
Danced with someone of the opposite sex.
Owned an ipod.
Owned an iphone.
Fell for a best friend.
Went far away from home for more than a week.
Moved out.
Ran away.
Had food poisoning.
Had a job.
Been fired.
Lied to a friend.
Lied to a family member.
Had a Facebook.
Posted a video on YouTube.
Started a rumor about someone.
Talked bad about someone.
Dropped out of school.
Deliberately failed a test.
Been skinny dipping.
Counted to a million.
Counted to a thousand.
Ate rabbit meat.
Ate duck meat.
Had fast food.
Been to Church.
Been to Canada.
Been married.
Had a divorce.
Broke a glass.
Hugged someone today.
Texted someone today.
Received a phone call today.
Threw something out of the window.
Ignored a text from someone on purpose.
Had my feelings hurt by a friend and never told them.
Wish you were somebody else.

I've noticed that most celebrities I've had crushes on look alike

Oberhofer and Matt & Kim

Are you going to young life? They ask.

NO.

Pink Floyd Discography

The Piper at the Gates of Dawn

The Saucerful of Secrets

Soundtrack from the Film More

Ummagumma

Atom Heart Mother

Meddle 

Obscured by Clouds

The Dark Side of the Moon

Wish You Were Here

Animals

The Wall

The Final Cut 

A Momentary Lapse of Reason

The Division Bell 

I need the burning sensation of alcohol down my throat and into an empty stomach.

I just want to go to the mall and buy lots and lots of clothes. That is all

mitt romney likes coal

THE BODY OF A NEURON CELL IS CALLED A SOMA

I'm not a political genius, nor do I have an opinion that is based on pure facts, but I still found this debate was pretty interesting. This is not the reasoning I'm posting it, the reason is that these bitches that block things at school blocked the debate because it's "not educational". What the fuck. I think I've established before that by posting youtube videos through blogger is the only way I can actually watched the blocked ones. (I forgot to take notes for Government yesterday, so now I have to re-watch it and do my work)

Presidential Debate (#1), The University of Denver, October 3, 2012. 9 p.m.

Daddy's flown across the ocean
Leaving just a memory
snapshot in the family album

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

ragged taste - september playlist

abducted // cults 

green eyes // wavves 

it's all the same // yacht 

medicine // starfucker

ivy & gold // bombay bicycle club

little talks // of monsters and men

never heal myself // cults 

bedroom eyes // dum dum girls 

homecoming // the teenagers 

go hard // kreayshawn 

intro // xx 

I really can't explain how much I want to get into National Honor Society.

 I want something to be proud of.

Something to look good by my name.

Why though? Why do I want this so bad?

this is yet the strangest picture i have seen in a while

I am not where I want to be size/health wise right now, but I'm getting closer. I'm starting to gain some confidence in myself; I've noticed that recently I want to get dressed up and actually look good. One of the best feelings is when people compliment you and you know that your hard work has paid off.

Original Goal:
140 lbs
Size M shirt
Size 8 (or 29) (US) jeans

New Goal:
130 lbs
Size S/M shirt
Size 6 (US) jeans

Highest:
196 lbs
Size XL shirt
Size 13 jeans

Current:

145 lbs

Size M shirt

Size 7/8 (28) jeans 

I'm really happy 

i really like my shirt 

Last night's concert was probably the best concert I have been to. I usually say this about every concert I go to, but this time it's different. 

The atmosphere was completely different, the people, the vibe in general. Here it was about how much hell could be let loose. How chaotic you could get. No one cared what the person next to them was doing, or how you were dancing. That moment was about you (and Alice and Ethan, of course). The amount of bruises you got was irrelevant because all you will remember from that night is how fucking great it was. 

Crystal Castles is worth every penny.

crystal castles (9:30 club, DC)