Anatomy and Physiology

Might be one of my hardest classes, even harder then AP (those aren't hard tbh). The thing is that I like this class way better then any of my other ones. I get a set a lesson and a set of work for the day, I study it and I take a quiz the next day. And that's how it goes. I like that pace, it works for me. 

The people in this class aren't half bad. I don't usually talk because I don't have anything to say. I think things are looking up in this class. 

I'm not always negative and depressed. I just usually have more to say when I am. That's why the majority of my posts are of me complaining \m/

I seriously can't take it right now. 3 low B's. I'm seriously about to cry because grades just closed for the Interim. 

I wish I knew where to apply for college. My hopes for University of Chicago have been crushed. I'm seriously doubting I'll get into a "great" school, much less an Ivy League (I'm not even considering applying to those).

Dakota had her puppies last night

It was probably the grossest, coolest thing I've ever seen

nissan altima

http://www.cargurus.com/Cars/inventorylisting/viewDetailsFilterViewInventoryListing.action?uncached=false&showInactive=false&newCarsOnly=false&useInventoryService=true&name=entitySelectingHelper.selectedEntity&includeAllModelsOption=true&carsWithRegressionOnly=false&ign-makerId-entitySelectingHelper.selectedEntity=m12&heading=Select+Year&ign-modelId-entitySelectingHelper.selectedEntity=&entitySelectingHelper.selectedEntity=m12&zip=21657&sourceContext=carGurusHomePage_false_0#listing=44712666

http://www.cargurus.com/Cars/inventorylisting/viewDetailsFilterViewInventoryListing.action?uncached=false&showInactive=false&newCarsOnly=false&useInventoryService=true&name=entitySelectingHelper.selectedEntity&includeAllModelsOption=true&carsWithRegressionOnly=false&ign-makerId-entitySelectingHelper.selectedEntity=m12&heading=Select+Year&ign-modelId-entitySelectingHelper.selectedEntity=&entitySelectingHelper.selectedEntity=m12&zip=21657&sourceContext=carGurusHomePage_false_0#listing=43211512

my mom said that there is a possibilty that i'll get a car this year. i really want the nissan altima and i've found these two for reasonable prices. i'm so exciiiiited 

Lithium

I'm so happy because today
I found my friends
They're in my head
I'm so ugly, that's okay
Because so are you
Broke our mirrors
Sunday morning is everyday
For all I care
And I'm not scared
Light my candles, in a daze
Because I've found God

Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah

I'm so lonely, that's ok
I shaved my head
And I'm not sad
And just maybe
I'm to blame for all I've heard
I'm not sure
I'm so excited
I can't wait to meet you there
And I don't care
I'm so horny, that's okay
My will is good

Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah

I like it I'm not gonna crack
I miss you I'm not gonna crack
I love you I'm not gonna crack
I killed you I'm not gonna crack

I like it I'm not gonna crack
I miss you I'm not gonna crack
I love you I'm not gonna crack
I killed you I'm not gonna crack

I'm so happy because today
I found my friends
They're in my head
I'm so ugly, but that's okay
Because so are you
Broke our mirrors
Sunday morning is everyday
For all I care
And I'm not scared
Light my candles in a daze
Because I've found god

Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah

I like it I'm not gonna crack
I miss you I'm not gonna crack
I love you I'm not gonna crack
I killed you I'm not gonna crack

I like it I'm not gonna crack
I miss you I'm not gonna crack
I love you I'm not gonna crack
I killed you I'm not gonna crack

You know those songs that you hear and they remind you of an instance in your life and suddenly you get really nostalgic; you feel your chest swelling and a knot at your throat. You feel like you want to cry because you miss that moment so much. I like those moments.

I really need new clothes. Falls rolling in and I'm still in shorts and tee shirts. GET WITH THE PROGRAM DAD, I'M FREEZING. Hm, maybe instead of blowing money off on concerts, I should've bought clothes. Hahah I'm too funny.

This probably makes no sense. I'm too emotional right now

A group of friends would be nice. I'm tired of feeling "lost". I'm tired of having friends here and there. I want to have several friends who are together often and who care about each other. I'm tired of spending my weekends trapped in my room reading or on Netflix.

All of my other friends have other friends whom all spend time together. But I just don't fit in with them. Even my closest friend doesn't have time for me. She's always with her boyfriend. I haven't spent time with her in months.

Oh yeah and the little brat peed on the floor.

My stomach is weird. I can eat perfectly fine one day and the other day I'm not hungry at all. I've been feeling really shitty about eating and nauseous for days; now I've gotten my will to eat back.

So, today was Spirit Night at Chick-Fil-A and my family and I came out to eat. I ordered a spicy chicken sandwich looking forward to eating a "real meal". My cousins little spoiled brat of a daughter runs off and doesn't tell her mom what she wants, so she gets her nuggets. When she runs back she begins throwing a fit in front of everybody around us screaming at her mom that she wants a sandwich and that her mom has to buy her one. My fucking cousin takes my food off the table (I'm not even half-way done) and gives it to her kid as if it was hers. To top it off she turns around and asks "oh was this yours?". I'm angry and I'm not hungry anymore.

never befriend mia
she kills you softly

*~*sara*~*

skinny deprived

soon ~

one day I'll be really thin and I'll be able to finally go to the beach without regretting it

Bob Dylan and his Band 

Green Day w/ Best Coast 

Crystal Castles 

Grouplove

Yeasayer 

Icky Blossoms 

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

Cloud Nothings 

Tycho 

Policia 

Menomena 

Japandroids 

The Mountain Goats 

Blondie 

i'm on like all the spirit committees 

volunteer programs

ect

this year

this isn't me

i even stayed after school today until like 430 decorating the junior hallway

i'm so spirited 

I'm really fucking excited right now

I just scheduled my driving test!! AAAAAAAAAGH

I really can't wait until I can drive myself to school, or to wherever - not having to depend on my mom for transportation. 

Everyone in my grade is already starting to get their license. 

Man, it really sucks to have a mid/late birthday. 

how does jesus make his coffee?

hebrews it 

AP Government ~~

why did it take me this long to unveil my love for kreayshawn?

Some people are trapped in a bubble of pure goodness.
They seem to be afraid of expanding past what they know/are used to.
They are those do-good, goody-two-shoes kids who won't say "bad-words".
They say "frick"
Instead of "fuck"
They don't want to be a disappointment.
They care about what everyone thinks.
They're annoying.
Why do I work with them?



jfc

I want to look like this

(Like her body)(her face is pretty too)

I need to go on a diet ASAP.

everyone seems to be avoiding me.

I don't want to go to homecoming, but at the same time I do? I want to get one of those cute invites and flowers and all that stupid movie shit. I've never really been those kind of girls, but I think it'd be nice to experience it. I want to wear a cute dress and have nice hair; I'd go to my friends house and get ready with a group of people and we'd all take pictures together, with our dates, and so on. Then at the dance we'd have a nice time as stupid as that sounds. Then, maybe I'd go to an after-party and I'd get really drunk and be super happy. Homecoming is next week and I haven't even thought about it until now. Oh well.

fuck insecurity

and fuck a low self-esteem. I hate it. I'm so tired of looking in the mirror and hating what I see. I try to dress up and look nice, but then I'm just trying too damn hard. I can never really win with myself. I should feel "better" about myself considering I've lost like 50 pounds, but that doesn't seem to work. I feel just like I did before. And to top it off my fucking doctor is like "you know, 50 pounds in 2 years is not a lot - and you're still overweight. You could try harder" - in a bitchy tone- maybe it was constructive critisimsm. but still.

Everyone around me seems to grow prettier, but I feel the same. I pour my heart out to my parents telling them how I feel about myself and all I get is "That is so stupid, why do you care what people think anyways?" and they're right - but I was in tears and all I needed was some comfort and someone to talk to.

I've been having bulimia relapses in the past few months and it's the only thing that makes me feel like complete shit, yet gives me one of the greatest satisfaction (as nasty as that sounds.) Sometimes I feel like I can't swallow my food and other days are just fine. I've thought about seeking help, but I'm afraid to tell my mom. She's too judgmental.

I just honestly don't know what's going on lately. I've been so sensative. Maybe I'm just a whiney kid who wants attention or who knows. I really don't know at the moment.

I wish I had a calling. You know, like something I was really good at. Music, writing, film, dancing, sports, anything. I can do somethings here and there, but nothing really impressive. I always seem to give up on what I start. I want to play the drums, like be in a band and everything, but I always find an excuse not to. "I have too much homework", "I don't have time", "I'm busy", "I need new cymbals".  The problem is that I say these things to myself and I believe them too. Or my journal; I write in it for 3 days and then I stop. Maybe I'm just lazy.

going to party hard with amanda and bry

last purchase \m/

(ignore the edmodo link)

elections this year were pretty big. it was kind of cool to see all the campaigning (it made ehs feel like a movie highschool) 

alan palomo

i love the way he

speaks with

confidence in his 

voice.

i'm sick. my throat burns and i can't swallow my food. but i'm hungry as hell

picture day

(sobs)